Security Advisories we think you should be aware of. Be sure 
to protect your system from malicious hackers who can anally rape
you while fisting your dog and hacking your computer while it
is turned off.

r00t: su(1)
r00t: Sunny Day Virus
r00t: Aunt Jemima Syrup
r00t: Mitsubishi Eclipse
Eagle Talon y2k Bug
r00t: OSI Layer 1
r00t: John Madden 97
r00t: LitterMaid Race Condition
CERT: ID4 Virus - Alien/OS

Ok ok.. go see real advisories.